So, at the end of my street, literally about 3 houses down in front of the funeral home on N. Monroe St. an 18 year old swerved in front of an oncoming truck and he died. That’s horrifying enough to know, but in my view was the scene. His passenger and the other driver were taken to Southshore (thank god) so they’ll probably do fine. I feel bad for the kids family though because it was two siblings in the SUV so now one is dead and the other will suffer forever. I kept thinking about my kids and that happening and that would be awful. I’m glad the brother went to Southshore though, god forbid he ended up in Mercy’s “trauma” area. Then I went to my friends house in Riverview, and I was on my way back at just after midnight (because really, I don’t sleep anymore so time don’t matter) and I seen they had northbound Fort St. blocked off and were using the jaws of life on some car. That area is dangerous and I hate driving it down to 75 but it seems more convenient. N. Monroe St. is dangerous and so is Nadeau Rd. People speed like it’s I-75 on both roads and both have few areas with turn lanes and people can easily cross over then center line at night. That is always what I’m afraid of. The risk is everywhere, but it just seems like I read about people dying out this way on Telegraph, 75, and other roads more. Two people died between here and Fort St. in separate incidents in the last 2 months alone, one from a wrong way drunk driver and another from crossing the median. I scares the bejeebers out of me to drive around here at night.
I have to try to get some sleep tonight, I was so fricken sick last night and up all night thinking, and I was in bed until almost noon today. Tonight I had some finger foods at Julie’s and it’s hurting a little bit so I don’t know when i’ll be able to return to normal eating. It’s pathetic.
Well it’s already 2:03a.m. God forbid I end up in a medical emergency again, they’d probably this time for real see something in my blood. I’ve been popping 1/2mg Xanax every 4 hours for 2 weeks straight since I got my new script. No, actually it would come up the same, not enough for detection because it’s still a normal dose. Literally it feels like if I don’t have it, I’m gonna freak out over what happened. I know people that take 4mg’s at a time and I can’t imagine, but my daily dose don’t go nowhere near that. It needs upped though, I’m flying through them like crazy. I was offered 1mg x 90 for a month and I should have taken it, but on the 18th it hadn’t hit me yet, the aftermath. Instead I take my whole days worth once per day and hope it gets me through. I mean, I don’t have any time frame specified on the bottle, but 1/2mg is really small. It’s just great that I went from 2 weeks ago with an easy coming goal of being anxiety free by October to freaking out because of that hospital. What a setback. What a crappy thing to have happen to me, and that does make me sad, not depressed. Jen definitely needs some short-term psych treatment that’s for sure. Someone will want to listen to that story! I really wish I had a bariatric center of excellence nearby, it sucks I have to drive all the way to Madison Heights to see them. If I have a problem with my guts there isn’t anyone that can help around here because ER doctors in general are morons on the subject. The best was a couple years ago during a pregnancy, one was like, “Familiarize me with this LapBand”…. so when you have to explain what it is you had at the time, that’s when you just toss your hands up and walk out. I have a good internist and nurse practiioner though, and that’s all that matters. I know from now on to travel to my own health system and not some half wit hospital that has no technology. I bet if I asked them what a fluoroscope was they’d be like, “What? Huh?”. I just love it because everyone was like, aren’t you angry enough already (due to whats gone on in the last 6 months and I’m just like, no, I’m happy in general, but *F* with me and you’ll pay, and that goes to everyone. It really does take a powerful woman and mother to care for her kids and family, while on the back burner dealing with a negligent hospital, and stupid woman who let her kid open my front door and her kid got nipped in the leg by my non-pitbull doggy.. I can’t even wait to see my attorney, especially when I smack this newest caseload in front of him.. I can hide my anger (not anxiety though) and still be nice 🙂 Sad? Yes, Angry? Most definitely Homicidal? Not yet 🙂 Throw all those in a little happy bubble and let it float away. I need full time happiness back, quickly, but not until my file is clear in both cases!
Ah well, It’s time for an Ambien, I need to sleep. I am going to try and get a peanut butter & jelly sandwich in, at least a half. It’s soft, and it’s the only thing that don’t make me sick right now. I think it’s the protein content of the PB that counters the sugar in the small amount of jam. There’s just something about it that makes it one of the few items I can eat problem free… at least right now. If the insides don’t start moving along and the left quadrant pain don’t start going away i’ll have to see someone sooner than I’m already scheduled…. ugh. I’m so ready to be done with doctors.
