This week will test me!

Jen
JensNotes | Pura Vida

Ah well…. it’s been another sleepless night.  I think I’m pushing 6 nights straight of either not sleeping or only getting 3 hours of sleep because my mind don’t shut off.  Last night I finished another complaint by 1a.m. but because of the chaos in the last month I completely forgot about the fact that I have to be in court at 8:30a.m. for my doggy situation.  I’m hoping I can get off with just a $100 fine.  Hell, I’ve never been to court, never even had a traffic ticket so this is all new to me. I can’t seem to get past the waiting room before I fall over and die of anxiety.  Just like the hospital, I hate being lumped together with people that aren’t me.  You have people there for drunk driving, petty theft, and other crimes. Sometimes even really bad ones done locally, but they all sit in the same court room.  The whole dog at large part of my citation is just pure BS because the kid opened my door and let my dog out and he didn’t even go past the grass, and they have the video of it.  So it’s not like I’m not one of those owners that lets their dog run free, not taking them to the vets, or anything. My dogs are cared for and secured properly.  It’s not my fault if this kid opened my door and released the mechanism securing him, that’s like someone walking up to a gate and opening it.  The only thing I am guilty of is forgetting to get him licensed.  Really, I think about 95% of the population don’t get their dogs licensed.  So, tomorrow I will show up with licensing in hand, all shot records, even though they have them already, and hope I make it past the waiting room.  Cripes, if I dare take a bottle with a few Xanax pills in it though, that would be horrific if I passed out and they went again assumed just because I transport my pills in the container that says 90ct doesn’t meant I ingested them all.  I’m wishing myself luck, i’ll be alone AGAIN.  At least this time my kids won’t be with me to croak on, like the first time.  My sister had to come pick them up.  I’ll just take a couple pills ahead of time and hope it keeps me ok.  I’ve only had a need for Xanax once this week thankfully.

Last night I finished off a complaint to the Monroe County Emergency Medical Authority.  Then I individually sent my complaint to each and every board member.  I heard back from the chairman today who was happy to talk to me on the phone, but since I have this verbal communication problem relating to ADHD, I can’t quite talk about it without being scatterbrained and it’s weird.  If I ever had to testify it’s not like I could recite the whole story.  Maybe if I was asked questions it would be ok.  I’ve already blocked out lots of it, so sometimes (and I shouldn’t) I go back and read it again and I freak out again.  I did manage to actually put out a summary of the events, god knows how much I left out, but even that was long. Poor chairman, but I hope my summary was enough.  Is the Monroe County Emergency Medical Authority the same as the Monroe County Medical Control Authority? Should I contact them too? I’d hate to send the same emails to the same people.  I don’t like how the MCMA is so closely related to Mercy Memorial Hospital though, so much so as to have their information all over their website.  I found the MCEMA on the county’s website.
Today I got done filing my complaint “summary” with the Michigan Department of Licensing and Regulatory Affairs Bureau of Health Systems – Complaint Investigation Unit Health Facility Complaint Form (wow that was long).  At least their complaint process is easy. The other day I created a “summary” to save and let me tell you, there is a lot of “fast forward to….” so details are left out, but mentioned my website and where they could read the details.  After a while you get kind of tired of repeating yourself.
I’m not sure if Caitlyn is getting sick or something but OMG she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off and i’ve never seen this before, then again she’s 2 1/2 and she’s never been since since her first month of life.  Matt says he has a sore throat. That’s all I need is something else to catch with my weakened immune system.
I’m so ashamed of myself.  My baby girl Ava is turning one year old in a little over 2 weeks on the 7th of October.  I haven’t even thought of it. I don’t even know who to celebrate it with because I have no family close by and I’m mad at my mom for reasons I shouldn’t mention right now.  I’ve never seen a 55 year old person so irresponsible in my life.  I don’t even know what to get the baby. I just had Caitlyn the year before and have everything already.  She is a little chunk though.  She was my smallest baby. I was so mad when she was born weighing 6lbs 2oz because she wouldn’t fit in any of the clothes I had brought. I normally have fairly large babies so this was a shock. She drowned in clothes for months.  Now all of a sudden she’s fitting 18 month clothes perfectly.  She’s just like her brother Andrew.  I weaned her from formula last week after a month of part formula part milk so she’s on full dairy now.  I’m not sure if I should do the whole milk thing since she seems a little big at the moment, but what do I know, Caitlyn is small for her age at only 25lbs.  Chris and Andrew weighed that at a year old.
I have a couple new pictures to post.  I drove one handed on the freeway to go visit my friend the other day. I look like crap because I didn’t even care to brush my hair, which is way out of the norm.  We were both sick so it’s like, what the hell, who cares.  My lips are horribly chapped, i’m pale, and utterly gross looking right now.  Of course with the weight of the world on your shoulders for numerous reasons who wouldn’t look like crap.  It doesn’t help when your own mother contributes another reason to worry on me this week. Ugh.  Please 2011 go away.

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