God someone help me I'm devastated……. I'm at Celebration hospital in Orlando and I knew my mom was going downhill rapidly in the last 2 weeks but they just told me her cancer has spread to her spine and her liver and she's in so much denial. I could see in the doctor's eyes that it was much worse than he was telling her and offered not one ounce of reassurance to me. My oncologist will be called in asap, but faith has escaped me. I'm so scared, I fear death, I never recover from death and my poor sister who's getting married, and my poor kids who will have no grandparents left, I fear for everything. She has no life insurance. I'm so scared and feel like somehow it's my fault. I don't know how to cope. I didn't think when I brought my mom here it would be her last few months. My brother is here visiting with my niece and I'm sure this is not how they envisioned this trip. I need my sister but I know she can't be here right now and she's devastated. I mean, I'm still suffering over my cat in September, and my dad, and my grandma, and my aunt, and Matt's uncle, and my grandpa who died 13 years ago 2 days ago. My mom is in denial and has been since she got cancer and that's why we are where we are at right now.
Originally posted on Facebook on December 29, 2013.
