Ok, well I “think” I’m feeling better. Things are going right at the moment. So far all my testing has come back negative, even the mammogram, which I am extremely happy about. I haven’t seen the blood results for the multiple myeloma stuff, but I need to request them today. Things finally seem to be normalizing.
I started seeing a therapist just to deal with all the post-traumatic stuff and all the blows I have been dealt over the past 3 years back to back. Even she was like, “wow”. When you seen an experienced psychologist and you have them with their jaw dropping, you really feel the impact of what has happened. Just between explaining all the surgeries, the Mercy incident last year, the back to back diagnosis’, all she said was, “I don’t know how you do it, and with 4 kids!”. I didn’t even get into the whole dog incident last year. I mean, it was actually good to feel like someone listened and felt like they actually cared. She spent 1 1/2 hours with me and she didn’t have too. I’m sure the insurance was billed for that extra time, lol.
I voluntarily started see psychiatrist Dr. Karen Joseph. Let’s just say she’s awesome in comparison to every other psych doc out there. I don’t see her because I’m mental, lol, I see her because I started losing my mind and when I say that, I mean the side effects from whatever was going on was causing my thought process to disappear. I can’t remember things, couldn’t complete a single task, driving was becoming a challenge, and it was just getting weird. My attention deficit problems have magnified about 10x since I had Ava but I could feel it getting worse and worse in the past 6 months.
Everyone should see my house. I have about 10 different craft projects going on at any one time, all sitting unfinished. Next to my spot on the couch I have clay everywhere, a crochet project, a folder of bills that needs sorted, some phones that need rooted (jailbroken), a new tablet PC and new laptop that need attention. At the dining room table I have resin stuff sitting everywhere, pigments up the wazoo, liquid silicone rubber waiting to be made into molds, scrapbooking shit EVERYWHERE. I’m a disorganized mess at the moment. On my laptop, I have a music video project I’m creating, which I will post the partially completed video later. That’s about the only thing i’ve managed to get anywhere on. I take 40mg of Adderall every single day, and I’m still a mess. I personally think it’s time for a med change to something else to re-kickstart my system, but she gave me abilify to kind of help and see if what I’m on can’t start doing better.
Do you realize what kind of commitment it took to myself to come write this blog? Normally I’m a writer and could output like 4 huge blogs a week. Now I condense into one a month, and make it insanely long and rambly, for which I apologize for.
Anyway, one thing I have found disturbing and *could* be a cause for some of my problem is Ambien. I diidn’t research the drug because I assumed it was safe, it was just for sleep so what problems can happen? You know, I normally research things to death, and for some reason just didn’t with Ambien, I assumed it was safe. Anyway, since we cannot find any other root cause to what is going on for right now anyway, we looked up Ambien side effects. I have looked up side effects for everything else I take and it came up with nothing that really matched me. So, we came across this website:
http://products.sanofi.us/ambien_cr/ambienCR.html
Listed on this site are the detailed side effects, and this is just a small sampling of the rare effects:
Hematologic and lymphatic system: Rare: anemia, hyperhemoglobinemia, leukopenia, lymphadenopathy, macrocytic anemia, purpura, thrombosis.
Respiratory system: Frequent: sinusitis. Infrequent: bronchitis, coughing, dyspnea. Rare: bronchospasm, epistaxis, hypoxia, laryngitis, pneumonia.
Well anyway, I stopped taking this med a few weeks ago and have slept very good since, and now I will just wait and see what my blood shows during the next round of tests.
Anyhow, enough of that 🙂 Yesterday was a remarkably good day. I enjoyed my day. It felt good to feel good and everything I tasted was extremely good. The weather was great, but it got hooot for a little bit! I also have a little bit of a sun burn, but it doesn’t hurt too much.
Here’s a pic of me with too much sun on the nose and lips:
Yesterday was Chris’ 10th birthday. It’s hard to imagine that 10 years ago I was laying in Wyandotte Hospital having a c-section. Dr. Batchev was my doctor and he remained my doctor for 2 1/2 children (seen someone else starting halfway through caitlyn). He was a doctor/lawyer combo, and that just didn’t feel right, lol. He started focusing on law more and took less interest in babies so I had to leave. He was a good doctor but he flaked on me and let me choose to have my own c-section, which I regret now!
Anyway, Chris had a good birthday. I think next weekend we’ll hit up splash universe in Dundee and let them swim. We just don’t have time this weekend. I got him an electric scooter by Razor that goes 15mph for his birthday. It came today and he’s so excited but I won’t let him ride it without a helmet, so he may have to wait til tomorrow. I told him treat that as if it’s a motorcycle. Even at 15mph head injuries can be fatal!
Last weekend we went to Calder’s, where we go like 2-3x per year. I brought my Nikon D90 and took about 500 photos, lol. I can take so many pictures in a 30 minute period it gets kinda nuts! I will post an album soon. I also took some photos out front of our house for my music video project.
The kids are out of school and they are driving me nuts. They have been out a whole entire week and I’m already ready to lose my cool. They want to eat eat eat eat eat!! I have a padlock on my cabinet now so it helps, but my god 2 boys can eat a weeks worth of groceries in 2 days.
K well I have to end this now but I will finish it later on… 🙂
