A Small Yay….but still depressing :)

JensNotes | Pura Vida

Long post warning 🙂 LOL — I’ve been going to the Toledo Clinic in Ohio for 7 months now. They manage the pain and related effects that I get from my still-to-be-diagnosed autoimmune-like neurological disorder. Today they prescribed me Gabapentin on top of my list of other meds. It’s an anticonvulsant, but has many off label uses. Almost exactly a year ago I developed Raynauds phenomenon which then developed into Raynauds disease. It causes my extremities to lose circulation, turn white, then bluish and if it gets bad enough, permanent damage is done and you can actually lose your limbs. In the winter i’m susceptible to frostbite, like this morning. For me it’s extremely painful in my fingers and toes to the point where I have a handicap placard. It’s next to impossible to grocery shop or be in any place less than 73 degrees. Gloves don’t help, the cold cuts right through them. I hate mittens but they are supposedly better. Anyway, the gabapentin, while scares me because of it’s nutty side effects actually seems like a miracle today. I took it this afternoon and I feel all funky and weird, but I went into my freezer and touched a bunch of frozen stuff and for once, it did not hurt badly as it usually would. I’m supposed to wear gloves to go into my freezer usually. So as long as the medicine don’t send me over the deep end psychologically, lol, I’m shouting out a big YAAAAYYY for now. It’s a mask, not a solution, but it helps.
I was referred out to the Cleveland Clinic, U of M or the Mayo Clinic, my choice, but first I will see a neurologist next week in Toledo. Being iron deficient for so long with failed treatment has led to a significant decline in my cognitive abilities so much so that it has taken the life right out of me. Lack of oxygen due to low red blood cell counts causing hypoxia from anemia has possibly damaged some parts of my brain, which hopefully now I will get some real tests. I’m severely ADD and sometimes ADHD of the impulsive type, which has progressively gotten worse by the month. My meds for that (Adderall) are almost worthless because of my altered digestive system, it works for about an hour, so for 2 hours a day I can accomplish things, maybe. I talk a million miles per hour, and everyone knows how much I will complete their sentences for them and interrupt them because I have no control. I have no concept of time anymore, no focus on things that matter, rarely complete any task and am always late now when I used to be 30 minutes early for everything. I know the people around me can see it. I can’t get the enjoyment of blogging on my website anymore because to type my long thoughts is too hard and I now get distracted, so my love of just writing has dwindled. I can no longer physically explain complex things to people without forgetting what I’m talking about in the middle of a sentence. I have had several embarrassing situations which now cause me anxiety about speaking to people in person because of that. To keep my love of photography going is a daily struggle. If I don’t engage in conversation about it, play with my camera, I will forget everything I learned within a couple days. I never sleep because I don’t have enough time in the day. I never remember to eat or go to the bathroom, and trust me, that is strange. I can hold it for 12-18 hours no problem, usually just because if it’s not written down in front of me, I never think to do it. I’ve had 2 transient ischemic attacks which mimic strokes since July, which were the scariest things in my life, too easily dismissed by this shitty hospital in Monroe, but not dismissed by the people I saw today. I can easily go 5-7 days without sleeping and not being tired at all purely because I have “things to do” that never get done and I can stay up all night just to fold one basket of clothes. Then my husband refers to me as a vampire 🙂
So Dear Santa: All I want for Christmas is to have my mind back, for someone to figure out what is happening to me and bring me back to life and make me the person I used to be. I’m only 32, not 92. I’m praying I get some answers or at least start too next week at the Neurologist. I want to end this cascading series of events because I never know what is next. The link below is the story of person that sounds just like me. The horrible part about all of it is this just started one day with my sisters words, “What the hell is wrong with you” at last years Thanksgiving when I couldn’t speak a sentence in clear words. It’s been a battle ever since. I always considered myself a silent genius because I come across as a typical stay-at-home mom, and when someone realizes that I have more expertise in my mind than they could have ever imagined in their lives, it’s a shocker. If I don’t know something, give me a week, i’ll be well versed in any topic. I still have that capability and if I lose that, I don’t know what I’ll ever do with myself. My BFF Julie has Raynauds too, minus the sheer pain I have, so she can relate in a lot of ways, which is cool. I made fun of her for years about her dead hands and then karma paid me back and blessed me with it worse. That was weird. So, there’s my rare ramble…. I just want to be all better! I got told today by the doctor to move to a warmer climate, I had to tell him sorry, that won’t work, air conditioning hurts just about as much as winter weather! Ugh, anyway, I’m not psycho, I’m just lost. If I didn’t have Julie to talk too for hours I don’t know where I’d be… because Matt just falls asleep when I talk to him, ha ha.
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A Sunny Day Can Mean All Sorts of Distress

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/19/health/healthspecial/19immune.html

A Sunny Day Can Mean All Sorts of Distress

By LAURA NOVAK

SUMMERTIME is not so easy for people living with certain autoimmune diseases. The sun, heat and even air-conditioning can intensify symptoms and cause problems that linger for months, if not years.
For doctors who manage those diseases, primarily lupus, scleroderma and Raynaud’s phenomenon, the challenges of educating their patients about sun avoidance become greater, too.
“These are diseases where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” said Dr. M. Kari Connolly, an associate professor of dermatology and medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, whose practice focuses on patients with autoimmune diseases. “A little bit of overexposure to the sun can present a whole lot of problems, and if we can get patients to be compliant with sun avoidance and protection, we can minimize the chances of their getting additional complications of their disease.”
Lupus is a chronic inflammatory disease that causes damage to tissue and prolonged episodes of pain. The Lupus Foundation of America says that 500,000 to 1.5 million Americans have received a diagnosis of the systemic form of the disease, known as systemic lupus erythematosus, which affects the skin, joints, tissue, blood and organs. About 25 percent of these patients will also develop skin lesions. Discoid lupus, which affects only the skin, is found in roughly the same number as the systemic kind; 10 percent of these cases, however, progress to the systemic form of the disease.
Lupus is the most common autoimmune disease in which patients are photosensitive, or reactive to both ultraviolet A and B rays from the sun. The foundation says that 75 percent of patients with systemic lupus and 90 percent of discoid lupus patients will suffer flare-ups of symptoms from even brief exposures to sun or heat.
“Photosensitivity can trigger the whole darn disease, including full systemic flare and joint pain and kidney failure,” Dr. Connolly said. “The younger patients sometimes say, ‘The heck with this, I’m tired of carrying sun block,’ and they’ll stay out there, and it’s not just that they are going to give themselves a bad rash. This is something to take seriously.”
The link between the sun and lupus flare-ups is thought to be a set of inflammatory protein molecules called cytokines, which are activated when ultraviolet light hits the skin. The skin inflammation that results can create a chain reaction of other symptoms.
Julianne Lewis, 35, of Santa Rosa, Calif., said she began to show symptoms that were referred to generically as undifferentiated connective tissue disease 13 years ago. When her second son was born four years ago, Ms. Lewis became so sick with stiff, swollen joints, aching skin and lumps on her feet that she couldn’t get out of bed. Lupus was confirmed, she said, and since then Ms. Lewis has undergone chemotherapy treatment and taken immunosuppressant drugs to prevent kidney failure. She also takes blood pressure medicine, an antimalarial drug and occasional steroids to keep her symptoms in check.
“I have to avoid the sun because I developed the butterfly rash,” Ms. Lewis said, referring to the telltale rash that afflicts 40 percent of lupus patients. “It develops across my nose and cheeks. I get it pretty severely, and mine will go on my chest and arms. I have scars on my arms where the rash blistered so badly my skin was burned.”
Ms. Lewis said she had suffered flulike aches and fatigue from even a short time in the sun. She has given up swimming outside with her younger child, she said. Reading a book on the grass is also out of the question. And while Ms. Lewis says she still plays softball occasionally, she wears a hat, long sleeves and wraps a handkerchief around her face.
“It freaks people out because I look so funny trying to cover up,” she said. “I have been slow to come around to the hat and sunscreen thing. And I’ve probably made myself sicker longer because I don’t want to accept it.”
Doctors say a UVA and UVB sunscreen is just one component of a multiprong approach to limit the extent of her symptoms. Other strategies include sun-protection clothing, applying a sun-protection coating to car windows and staying indoors from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
But for patients with scleroderma and its most common symptom, Raynaud’s phenomenon, the solution can sometimes be as painful as the problem.
Scleroderma is a chronic autoimmune disease of the connective tissue that causes the skin to become so thick and leathery from inflammation that hair stops growing and sweat glands strangulate and die. The disease often begins in the fingertips before it works up the arms and throughout the rest of the body. In 90 percent of patients, it is accompanied by Raynaud’s phenomenon, where blood vessels become thickened, too, shutting off the flow to the extremities.
The Scleroderma Foundation estimates that of the 300,000 Americans with the disease, nearly a third have the systemic, or diffused, form. The rest have a form limited to a certain place on the body.
That is how the disease began in Dolores McCausland of Cape May, N.J. Two years ago, Mrs. McCausland, 75, had a biopsy taken of a sore on her arm. Doctors confirmed scleroderma as well as pulmonary hypertension, a common result of the disease’s affect on the kidneys, she said. She takes a combination of medicines to treat her blood pressure as well as an antihistamine and gabapentin to treat the pain and itching. She is also treated with oral chemotherapy and an immunosuppressant.
Mrs. McCausland said that covering her arms while driving to avoid exposure to sunlight or using her backyard pool was nearly impossible because the sores on her arms make them sensitive to touching.
“If you saw my arms, you would say, ‘Oh, my God, there’s something wrong with her,’ ” Mrs. McCausland said. “You know when you put a blood pressure cuff on your arm? My arms look like they have been squeezed, and it’s forcing the muscle out to my elbow and shoulder. It’s very painful and itchy.”
Covering the entire body, even in the heat, is critical for scleroderma patients because they have greater susceptibility to skin cancer. And since the blood vessels can also become sclerotic, or thickened, full coverage helps protect people from the shock of entering an air-conditioned environment.
“The problem is that in the summer these patients go from dramatic warm to cold, and they can become very symptomatic from that,” said Dr. Chris T. Derk, an assistant professor of medicine in the rheumatology division at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia. “It’s exceedingly rare, but we have people with Raynaud’s of the heart vessels, and they can go into spasms and give you a small heart attack. You have to cover the whole body because if they can’t rewarm the hand, they can break it.”
Mrs. McCausland said she coped by keeping her house temperature warm and wearing Isotoner gloves to the grocery store, even during the summer months.
“People think I’m some kind of nut,” she said. “I have never been sick a day in my life, and I had to come up with this. ”