So more pictures of life in Florida….

 
I gave my mom a great 5 months in Florida.  We did everything she could dream of doing in that 5 months.  Times like right now at 2:34a.m. I miss her stumbling out of bed to go to the restroom and wondering what the hell I’m still doing up and how I survive on little to no sleep… every single night almost.  Eventually she just stopped asking, lol.  She finally understood me when she lived with me. I don’t think she actually believed I never slept or had the issues I did until she moved in with us.  I miss the company I really do.  If I don’t live my life now I will never.  I have been held back so long by everyone’s problems and my own that now it’s my turn to live instead of worry worry worry, and that’s not selfish considering all the good I’ve done in my life for others.  Eight months of last year I spent worrying about my best friend, worried about my mother being homeless, getting no treatment for cancer and lying to me about her health, begging her to live with us, wondering if she would freeze to death because her power got shut off, paying her bills, our bills, everyone’s bills, and finally I said no more.  Peace came in August when I knew my best friend was safe, my mom was coming with us, my sister had her own place and boyfriend, and everything was good.  It never got good until about November.  By then it was too late and my mom was fading.  —— Ok enough about that before I burst out crying.  I want to erase the years 2011-2013 please.  I need happiness.

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