Just added major life event #22 in 3yrs to list. I'm praying for my baby Ava :(((((((
Ava is my first priority right now, I want her to recover, so just because I talk about myself doesn’t mean I’m selfish it is just helping me cope a little. Right now she’s sleeping peacefully at Toledo Children’s hospital. They are a wonderful hospital and I’m glad Mercy did the right thing this time. I have no complaints about Mercy this visit, they were wonderful. I believe Dr. Rimanelli was the doctor at check-in and he is good. The nurses were awesome. I would still never condone a visit after what happened to me, but I had no choice. It just goes to show I can be sincere about them, I have had 3 good visits and one nightmare that will haunt me for life.
How much more can happen? Can we pile trauma after trauma (or major life event) after trauma on me? I just need a good break from everything. I have averaged a traumatic event every 3 months since April 2008. Today could have been so much worse for my family, but it is ok for now. I really need some help, I need a break from stuff. After my baby Ava is well, I have to make sure I learn how to deal with this. Let’s see, it really comes for real when I lay it out in writing. This list is for my own purpose because I’m printing it out to take to the psych doc, he deals with my ADHD but I think I need help dealing with it all.
1. Grandma (dad’s mom) died April 17, 2008
2. A week later my dad died April 24, 2008
3. A very hard pregnancy (April 2008 – Feb. 2009)
4. C-Section #3 in Feb. 2009 *Surgery #1 of 7 from 2009-2011*
5. Tonsillectomy in May 2009 *Surgery 2* and this was NOT fun but had to be done.
6. Both boys had a tonsillectomy in June 2009
7. Abdominal surgery to remove Lap-Band due to complications in July 2009 *Surgery #3*
8. Gastric Bypass in October 2009 *Surgery #4*
9. Abdominal surgery to repair defect in gastric bypass a week later in Oct. 2009 *Surgery #5*
10. Just a month later in November 2009 a mass was discovered approx. the size of a grapefruit in my abdomen after going to the hospital, lots of pain, scheduled for removal in Jan 2010.
11. A week before my mass resection surgery and just 3 months after gastric bypass I found out I was pregnant. I had to go an entire 20 weeks in horrific pain and couldn’t have surgery til June.
12. In June 2010 I had open abdominal surgery to remove the mass next to the baby while 20 weeks pregnant. I also had an omentectomy. Wound would not heal so I had to pack it for a month straight. *Surgery #6*
13. Grandma who is like best friend has a stroke just 2 days after celebrating her 93rd birthday. She was very bad off, upset me since it was the day before my c-section.
13. In Oct. 2010 Ava was born via a horrific c-section in the general OR at Oakwood Main. The pain was unmanageable, and they had to do a “general” operation after the baby was born on my bowels. I was supposed to have my tubes tied and I still to this day have no real idea if that ever happened since they were so busy playing with my innerds. *Surgery #7* and final surgery. This was my 10th in 10 years.
14. In November 2010 just 6 weeks after my c-section I was ice skating when I shouldn’t have been and fell chest first into the ice because I hit a rut with the front f my skate. Cracked a clavicle and something in my shoulder.
15. In Feb. 2011 Mom diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.
16. In March 2011 my grandma who is like my grandma died. I still can’t get over this.
17. In June 2011 while I was cleaning the bathroom, a kid opened my front door while the baby was sleeping in her swing alone in the and my dog bit him and he deserved every bit of it. We have it all on camera. This traumatized the entire family. The kid had no blood, no broken skin, just teeth nip type bruises. I inspected him myself and he was ok. I got a 1800 Call-Sam letter suing me within a few days. We knew they wanted money, so they went after my insurance. Everything was captured on camera to know our story was true, but Michigan law says it don’t matter, your liable no matter what.
18. A week later we Monroe, MI – perfect timing.
19. July 2011 I had to go to court to plead “guilty” to this crime I didn’t commit. I was forced to take the fall for this, and this wasn’t fair for someone who has rarely done wrong and mostly all good since I was a teenager. I collapsed from anxiety court in waiting area because I couldn’t stand the thought of being guilty for a dog doing his job and having proof my dog wasn’t like a dog that just randomly attacked someone.
20. August 2011 – A horrific inhumane tragedy that happened to me at Mercy Memorial that I will never forget for the rest of my life.
21. Diagnosed with a blood disorder, receiving treatment and a Hematology/Oncology clinic and about to see a Rheumatologist.
22. My poor little Ava, makes me so sad to add her to this list.
This is just the major life events, I left out all the small stuff. I think 22 major life events in 3 years is a little much.
I woke up kind of late this morning and came downstairs. Ava was sitting on the floor by her sister’s special blanky. I looked at her she looked weird. After a few mintes I looked at her even more and noticed that she was shivering almost. I thought it was odd, but she was also just sitting there with only a diaper on. I grabbed her up, wrapped her in sissy’s blanket and held her for a while and I sang rock a bye baby and her new favorite Winnie The Pooh song from the movie opener. I had to put her down because I needed to use the restroom. Ava has never been sick more than a runny nose and certainly has never had any life threatening problems.
At about 10:30a.m. Ava walked to the kitchen just fine, and when she came out of the kitchen she came down the 3 steps to the living room, and I heard a tiny “thump”. Matt said, “Ava don’t hit your head”. It wasn’t a hard hit. Then I heard, “ummmm” coming from Matt’s mouth, and that’s never good. He grabbed her up and sat down on the couch, and I honestly thought she had found something and put it in her mouth and was choking. She was a little jerky at first, but then got motionless, and a little blood was coming out of her mouth and she was turning blue. I kept telling Matt to pat her back. In the meantime (a few seconds really) I tried to call 911, but my home phone would not dial out and I was panicing more and more. Finally I told him I can’t get the phone to work so he handed me his iPhone and I forgot how to call out on it. Finally I got a hold of 911, and I remember just crying and telling them she’s not breathing and she’s unconscious. I really did take forever for ambulances to arrive. I know they say that when you are panicking it seems like it takes forever, but it’s disgusting I live 1/2 a block length from a main road across from a mall, where they hell do they sleep at? It took about 10 minutes for them to arrive. In the middle of the 911 call Ava came around and made noise and acted like nothing happened and literally 10 seconds later she passed out again and I started freaking out on the phone asking where the hell they were. For the length of time it took the ambulance to get there I could have summoned one of the three doctors that I live next door too.
I begged them not to take her to Mercy, but they wouldn’t listen to me. I wanted her taken to a much better place right away, I knew they weren’t capable of handling adults let alone children and babies. When the paramedics arrived she was out cold permanently, her eyes were in the back of her head literally. I hate the paramedics around here though, no wonder they effed screwed up and cost me big time. WE told the same story to the paramedics 3 times, very simple,”no health history, she didn’t feel well this morning, and had a seizure”. The same guy after telling him 3 times still didn’t get it right and told the hospital she had a history of this and a history of that, and how it started yesterday. I’m like, what, are these guys trained to not listen? Now I can see how they screwed me over. It reminds me of a scene from Superbad when McLovin is trying to buy some alcohol and a store gets held up. The officers couldn’t get the description right and it really was that bad.
This blog is “to be continued…” tomorrow because I’m tired. She is ok right now, but she did have a pretty bad seizure at the hospital and turned blue, thank god she was there when it happened. That one scared me. She is ok right now, and been herself since the 2nd seizure at 1p.m. She was transferred via mobile ICU to Toledo Children’s Hospital. Here are some pics from today.
My YouTube video of her being transported and her getting into trouble later in the day:
[tubepress video=”3d32DqQcGQg” playerLocation=”normal”]
[tubepress video=”kJjRoM_DVEI” playerLocation=”normal”]
I just want to hold her and sing this song to her now:
