Time for change in 2015… new life rules.

Published on: Dec 26, 2014 @ 22:01 – 
I have 5 days left until 2014 ends to rid myself of all the viruses that have latched onto me and were never fully eliminated.  In this case i’ll use the word “virus” to describe any ways that need to be changed in my life, any friends that should be “friends“, family that should be “family” and basically any other parasitic organism type thought or person that won’t let go.  This is a message to anyone still left though, be sure you want to be my friend.  You now have to earn the right to call me a friend.  That doesn’t mean “Jen contributes 110% to a friendship while I sit back and collect up the rewards for no effort“.  Anybody I call a friend anymore has to earn it.  The term “friend” is used too loosely.  That’s what being hardened does to a person.  So when I can call someone a friend, everyone will know it really is a friend, not someone taking advantage of me and my abilities.
I have made lots of changes in 2014 for the positive.  They may seem negative, like eliminating my best friend, sister, and brother out of my life but really, it was them bringing me down.  I’ve been a lot happier since letting go.  Their problems are no longer my problems.  That may sound harsh, but it’s time for me to live for me.
The hardest thing I realized in 2014, is nobody had my back.  After spending the majority of my life defending, helping, talking too, and interacting with these friends and family I came to a very harsh reality that these people abandoned me a long time ago, and when I needed them the most, they were not here.  I will never forgive my sister Beth never helping me cope with the loss of MY mom.  My sister has no right to even call MY mom her mother anymore.  Mom and Beth were closer to each other than I was to my mom.  My sister abandoned me, left me to deal with it, refused to even come down after she was gone just to “be there”.  Nobody in my life knows what “helping others” means.  They are all selfish egotistical assholes.  I blindly wasted my life doing things for everyone around me, not caring what anybody did for me in return.
My former BFF Julie… is blind as a fucking bat.  When confronted about the events that led up to me saying goodbye forever, she was in denial that anything I said was going on.  Following up with a “here we go again” post on Facebook that friends told me was put up.  Yeah, here we go again because the issues i’ve brought up have been brought up before.  Unfortunately she is too conceited with making sure she has a good monetary support system in place so she won’t have to work full-time, blinded by her messed up visions on how life should be, and not seeing reality. This, all while her son calls me names, acts ungrateful for everything, disrespects everyone, and yeah it wore thin on me.  Most mutual friends are still in disbelief that I was able to cut the iron thread between Julie and I.  They didn’t understand the story until I told it.  In Juile’s delusional mind it was all nothing.  Well, everyone now agrees with me, after seeing video of everything too, no, it’s definitely not nothing.  I’m happy others see the light as I do.
My brother, well, anyone only has to scroll back a couple pages to get the jist of how the last month has been.
If people are fake, i’ll know it immediately and call them out on it.  I have no problems with that.  I just want anyone left to know that I will not be taken advantage of anymore, and anything I do will be met with great skepticism.  Make sure you want to be in my life and don’t let me ruin my year figuring it out.  I keep my word when I give it, I’m honest, and overall I’m a giving and charitable person.  To keep that aspect of my personality alive, I’m scaling back my operations.  You are welcomed in my world if you want to live it, otherwise, go away.  Anyone that does stay and earns the right to be called my friend, well, I’ll do my best to be a great friend… and a pain in the ass :o)