Today Julie took the boys over her house for a few hours. She is going to take them swimming at her cousins boyfriend’s moms apartments. They’ve been behaving so far but they are only 2 hours into their 4 hour visit with “Auntie Julie”. It’s nice to have someone who wants to take them once and a while.
Matt decided he was going to pop on me last minute that he has to go to Connecticut from July 10th-13th. I was like, beautiful, could the timing get any worse?! We are “officially” moving that weekend, well, the 8th and 9th anyway. I didn’t want to be stressed or forced to be on a time frame when moving and now we have a deadline. This is going to be really hard work. Somehow we have to figure out how I am supposed to buy furniture and a new washer and dryer and have them delivered and get them hooked up that weekend, as well as loading and unloading a moving truck — and let’s not forget the boys’ new bunk bed that will surely take forever to put together. This would be a little easier if we were moving closer by, but we aren’t, we are moving like 25 miles away so that is a lot of gas and a lot of miles, and let’s not forget a lot of time traveling between the two. I’d like to get it done in as few trips as possible.
Of course, my mom was supposed to go back to work the other day, and didn’t. She had it “all figured out” like always (not), and of course, has no way to get to work. I loaned her the van yesterday morning to try and go out and see about finding a car loan. She came back in a relatively good mood and said she needed a pay stub and $1000. When I told her good luck getting both of those requirements she immediately left as if she was actually expecting me to give her that money. First of all, she won’t have an official pay stub until being on the job for 2 weeks, which means someone has to cart her to work for 2 weeks at least. I told her I would have no problem lending the car for these 2 weeks until I move, but what would be the point because she won’t have $1,000 to put down. Even then financing isn’t guaranteed probably. That $1,000 may as well be a million dollars because I honestly think it’s not do-able for my mom. She was like, “I’ll save $250 per check”. I said, ok, well then that’s 8 weeks of work with only 2 weeks of transportation to work. Then her classic line, “I’ll figure it out” and “I should have something arranged by then”. No mom, no you won’t and you never figure anything out. She waits until last minute to unveil her latest problem even though she typically knows well in advance of when it happens. Like, she knew for weeks that her car was going to get repo’ed. Did she tell anyone this was going to happen? No, she tells me the day it happens and then expects me to change my life around to fit hers. I’m sick of it, just real sick of it. At 55 years old, she needs to grow up and my brother needs to get a job and get a life. He controls my mom’s every move and keeps track of her every whereabouts. When I move, all this crap will fall on 2 people, my sister and my brother. Neither of which want to have any responsibility in this. It’s not fair and I’m tired of feeling guilty and I’m tired of the guilt trips put on me because I won’t loan out my vehicle all the time and I tell my mom to get responsible. I just don’t know what it takes at this point, she just don’t get it, and has a real problem. Her priorities are #1 cigarettes, #2 alcohol, #3 groceries, #4 fast food, #5 misc. stuff and then last comes bills, if she has anything left to pay them, and usually doesn’t. No excuse. Now she is likely going to lose her job because she’s been ok’d to go back to work and hasn’t shown up yet. No job = no medical benefits, which means a death sentence. But I don’t think she honestly cares. She already spits in the face of her health care providers by continuing to smoke (at the very least) among other things. How the hell can you have CANCER and then put a cigarette in your mouth while undergoing chemo?? My mom has some serious problems and I really hope that she can change before something bad happens.
Can I just scream now? This has been the worst 6 months in a very long time, but I predicted this is what would happen well before this 6 months. We all knew it. As soon as my grandma died, it started to spiral out of control. I’ve known for many many years that my mom is incapable of managing money. I mean heck, she had one car payment, and insurance to pay — only that, and made $17/hr and still managed to blow it all and always run out of money. If she loses this job, she will never find another job with the same wage and benefits. Of course, she quit a $20/hr job at GM many years ago too because she never wanted to work. How you can throw that away twice I have no idea. I’m so beyond tired of the lies, the stealing, the excuses, everything. It’s got to change. It’s time for someone else to step up to the plate.
My sister had the nerve to tell me, of all people, that I’m selfish. She said this because I went off on her about needing to help mom out more than she hurts her. My sister will loan my mom money and then charge her 200% in interest by requesting double the amount she loan paid back in return. My sister goes over there daily and might take my mom to the store or something in the evening, but still requests that my mom buy her food and stuff at the store. She’s always been a spoiled rotten child and it’s partly my fault. Me, the selfish one, always made sure she had all the lavish requests on her gift list. She would actually go out of her way to make me feel bad if I didn’t honor her requests. Like last Christmas… she happened to want one of those new e-readers. I initially bought her one brand of them, and then we looked up the reviews and they were ok, not bad. But she continued to tell me that it’ll be my fault if she doesn’t like it and other stuff. So she made me feel bad and I returned that one and bought a Nook with slightly better reviews. I’m not doing it anymore. One year I bought her a Tivo with a 3 year subscription ($450), a Nintendo Wii, and various other high end items. What has she done for me? Squat. I have to beg her to watch the kids and it might happen once a year. She couldn’t even buy Chris a birthday card because she was so consumed with getting her boyfriend a $120 anniversary gift last weekend. Not one of them even got Chris a card. I’m not heavy into being “material” but it’s just getting really bad that nobody in my family thinks of anyone else. We always make sure to get my brother something for Christmas and birthdays, and he never gets anyone else anything. Then, usually whatever we buy him ends up in a pawn shop shortly thereafter. I bought him a $75 nice ghost hunting EMF detector and he pawned it. Of course, that Christmas my mom bought him a laptop and when he needed spare
cash, turn around and pawned it within 6 months, and now destroys my mom’s computer all the time.
I don’t think I can stay sane and keep complaining today. I’m under a lot of stress at the moment. All I have to say it’s kids, it’s time to grow up. If I can be 31 and responsible then my brother who is 32 and mom that is 55 can show a little responsibility. I’m scared to know how the next 6 months will be. I hope my mom doesn’t lose her job, the house, and her insurance because all that will happen is this will end up with her dying, all because she’s irresponsible. Grrr.
Ok, well I need to go pick up my boys soon from Julie’s and then maybe my day can get a little better.