Published on: Nov 10, 2006 @ 19:11 – 
Ok well I had about the longest day every yesterday.  That was the first time I had ever driven 250 miles and back in one day.  We didn’t end up getting home until 2a.m.
We left the house at 10a.m. sharp and picked up Paul.  I was really hesitant to leave my boys with their grandma for the entire day since they have a tendency to be monsters, but other than having that on my mind our drive went smoothly…well almost.  It took about 4 1/2 hours to get to Chicago.  My first impressions of the Chicago area was, “man this is a dump”… but that is how it is on the way in from the south side of the city.  You have to go through Gary, Indiana and then onto the Chicago Skyway (toll road).  For it being a toll road I half expected it to be in better shape, but noooooo, under construction.  It still went pretty smoothly though.  Listening to the local news radio was like a foreign language.  They have all these names for the freeways, and instead of referring to them by number, they refer to them by name, and my map wasn’t too good at listing their names.  Traffic was pretty heavy.
So anyway, we get off at Ohio street which leads us right into downtown Chicago.  Already it’s like driving in London (or NYC) because the cabs are overwhelming and would rather run you off the road than be patient.  We find a “self-park” garage.  As we turn into the garage we nearly get t-boned by a wild cab.   That as an experience too.  So anyway we go park at the ROW lot (Rush-Ontario-Wabash St. Lot — Thankfully they have helpful names).
The first thing we wanted to do was get lunch.  WE had many options with in 1 block… there was Pizzeria Uno and Pizzeria Due (which are family rivals), as well as ESPN Sports Zone, California Pizza Kitchen, and others.  We chose Pizzeria Uno only because we’ve been to it’s chain counterpart, and their food sucks.  We figured the original had to be good.  The place is really small, and it’s hard to believe the created a chain out of this place.  It’s nothing like the chains though.  The menu has like 10 things on it, compared to the chain which has like 50 things on it.  We ordered the “Uno” pizza, which was your chicago style deepdish with extra cheese and toppings.  They brought it out and it was huge.  I only ate 1/2 a piece but Paul and Matt ate all but three slices.  I had the one and we took 2 home.  It was good, but I like my crust a bit more buttery/greasy for a deep dish.
As we finished up our pizza Paul kept talking about this blonde that he said he was interested in and was convinced she was making googely eyes at him or something.  I was like Paul, this is a heck of a long way to drive for a date.  As we exited the restaurant he proceeded to tell our waitress and the blonde that we were going to the springer show.  I did not want anybody to know we were going there to say the least.  Mostly out of fear they would think we were guests and not audience members!
As we left Matt went back to the garage to put our pizza in the car, as well as my camera, ipod, and cell phone.  The rules stated no cell phones, so I freaked out and didn’t want to be turned away at the door.  I really wish I took my camera and cell phone because I could have totoally taken pictures of the studio and everything had I known they wouldn’t have been taken away!!!  People had all theirs.  Not to mention after the show was over, the walk back to the garage was beautiful because the buildings are so pretty, especially the NBC tower.
So onto the show.  We got there at 3:30 because the wise thinking person in me said, well if they want us there at 4:30, we should get there before then.  Thank god we did because we were #2 in line.  If I had shown up at the stated time, we may not  have gotten in.  They explained that they overbook just like airlines.  It’s a first come first serve type of deal.
First they made us stand in line outside the building for what was probably at least an hour.  By 4:30 the line was probably wrapped around the building.  Next they brought us inside to make us stand in another line.  This is where they checked ID and verified your on the list.  Some unfortunate people behind us had driven in all the way from Indiana only to be told there name was not on the list.  Those were some mad people.  That was my biggest fear!!  Oh, and so much for the business casual dress code.  I think only 50% of people were dressed like that.  The younger crowd was dressed baggy jeans and generally unacceptable clothing.
From look at the line behind me, you could see the audience was diverse.  There were old people, young people, hillbillies, and business people.  A couple came in dressed for a black tie affair and the people around us were laughing.
Anyway, next we moved into another line, the security line.  We waited there for about 20 minutes.  They confiscated Matt’s keys, but not mine and mine are more dangerous than his.  I have a huge chain attached to mine!  We then walked through the metal detectors.  Paul had to take off his shoes only to reveal to everyone giant holes in his socks.  How embarassing!!!
Next they took us with about 8 other people into a giant elevator and up to the studio level of Jerry Springer.  They placed us into a holding room in the order we were in line.  After we were seated, they proceeded to bring groups of 14 up one at a time into the holding room, until the entire room was filled.  We were in there forever.  The show was running late because the previous show took too much time.  We were surround by this wild black couple and a family of true hillbillies.. the black guy was 60 years old and he was overly excited to be there.  He was already chanting “Jerry, Jerry” a  heck of a lot while we were in the holding room.  Then there was the family of true hillbillies.  I thought they should have been on the show rather than in the audience, but hey I guess everyone likes it.    They had missing teeth and southern accents.  Generally nasty people, but nice people.  We talked to them and they told us what to expect.  Most people in there had been to a show more than once!
After being in that room at least an hour, they took us back to the studio to be seated.  The first thing I noticed was that the stage is considerabaly smaller than it looks on tv.  We were seated front and center about 2 rows back. It was really cramped.  People are literally pressed up against each other should to shoulder.  We sat there a while until they overfilled the studio to the point people were sitting on the steps near the back.   They played Jerry’s Too Hot For TV while they were loading hte studio.  It was nasty to watch so I was not as eager to see the show in person after watching that!!
Next, Todd the stage guy that wears the headset comes out and sits in the chair and proceeds to make out like everyone in the audience does drugs and that’s the only reason why we are here.  I was mildly offended with that, but i’m sure it’s as scripted as the rest of the shows.  He proceeded to tell us what to do and how to do it.  He would tell us what to say and when.
Next he brings out Jerry who is not only a pervert but a bad joke teller too.  He told us some really nasty jokes that, coming from a man his age, really wanted to make me barf.  He was going on about what he’s got going on, and that he has a lot down there, and he’s rich as hell.
So Jerry goes away after telling a few bad jokes, and Todd comes back out.  He said, ok, give me 10 and started the countdown.  The audience proceeds to stand up and do the “Jerry, Jerry” chant with fists pumping.  We did this over and over again for an hour and a half at least!
First steve comes out (looking smaller in real life) and all the hot security guys get stationed around.  There is this really fat disgusting black girl on stage talking about how she’s been to juvenile and how she sells drugs for money.  To be honest this show was about as lame
as they come with today’s Jerry shows.  It resembled closer to his shows many years ago when people had legitimate problems.  There was no fighting with the first guests… and very little of anything.  The whole time the guests are up there, the stage staff are yelling out loud “Come on, who’s got an insult, rip, joke, or whatever”…They were telling the audience members what to say.  Plus, the people who stand up and rip on the guests, some of them are told what to say by the security staff out loud.  Not only are the show guests just watching the stage staff tell people what to say, but they also tell the guests what to do.
I’m a firm believer that the stories are real, however, when they get on the Jerry show, it’s been proved to me that the stories are very exaggerated and the staff encourages fights.  When things get testy, they play the boxing bell sound effect, and steve walks over to them and tells them what to do.  The emotions are real, and the people are real, though this is a mix of acting and real life.
The next guests were a stripper, her boyfriend, and her boyfriends mother.  There was a cat fight there, but nothing major.  Like I said, the show was lame.
Every 5 minutes or so they would break for an intermission where they would take the guests off stage and arrange the seating.  They would play loud music and the security guys would just stand around showing off their muscles, especially the 2-3 guys who wore muscle shirts.  The white guy was especially nice looking, but a tad bit weird.  They must have the easiest jobs in the world.  They do nothing but fool around on stage, and break up fights!
Todd the stage guy was getting mad that the audience couldn’t come up with enough insults.  At the end of the show where they bring up all the guests on the stage so they can be ripped on, so Todd went around to different people and told them what to say.  After one very scripted comment, the strippers boyfriend darted into the audienc after the audience member who said it, even though he didn’t really come up with it.
The end of the show came and Jerry did his stupid final thought.  While he’s doing this we are supposed to be dead silent… however, a fat version of “oprah” on the stage was acting funny and making Steve laugh, and I couldn’t help but laugh because she’s funny looking.  After that we are done and we go home!  Matt got a chance to shake Jerry’s hand (a dream come true) because he was sitting closest to the aisle.  We left the building and walked a few blocks to the parking garage taking in the scenery of the beautiful lighted buildings.
Finding our way home was easy…. traffic wasn’t as heavy and it was a pretty direct route.  It took 5 hours to get home including a stop to taco bell in Indiana.  We were dead tired when we got home.  We had to go to grandma’s house to pick up the boys who i’d say didn’t get crap for sleep, and neither did my mom.
All in all it has left me with an experience I will never forget!  I’d really like to go back to Chicago to see the sights sometime though.  It was a nice city.  I will be going back to see Jerry though in hopes that we’ll get a “real” Jerry show.  There was barely any fighting, no nudity, nothing.  Girls are told to flash, and when they do they get Jerry Beads… but thankfully all the people in the audience had respect for themselves and refused.  Even at the end of the show when the camera guy walked up the to one of the hillbillies behind us and asked him to smile for the camera he refused… the camera guy was like, “Come on… please?”… and he said no.  All of the staff is perverted, but then, it could all be an act too.
We also have no idea when or if the show will air, we have to call this number sometime soon.  I’ll post on here when I think it will be on!!