I just got back from my grandma’s house where my brother told me what my lovely father said about our website plan. First of all I know you read my blogs so you can take what I say for whatever it’s worth, because usually anything I say is worthless to you anyway.
So it’s nice that we are trying but it’s not going to go anywhere. First of all, this person has absolutely no clue. Just because his businesses have been failures amongst other things in life doesn’t mean we are going to fail. We have put a lot of hard work and many many many hours of time into this project. That’s all it is is a project. Unlike others we aren’t going into this for the money, but for the fun of it. And for your information, Matt is a geology major, not a business major. He doesn’t have any more business ideas than I do. In fact, I am the business side of it all, so to say that Matt knows more than me is lame. I file all the forms, I write the letters, and I do it all. Matt is the brains behind our project and I am the business behind it.
We are never right and nobody else is allowed an opinion, which is why I stopped talking in the first place. Hell, I wasn’t even allowed to wait til I was 12 weeks pregnant before surprising everyone with the news, which a lot of women do including me… instead I was called “illogical” and “stupid” and was treated like I was a 16 year old hiding a pregnancy, which stepped a bit far beyond my boundaries for tolerance…. especially since my reasoning in the first place was because I didn’t know if the pregnancy would continue. He felt he was more important than everyone else, but at the very most was an equal, so he had no more right to know than anybody else. But, until he apologizes for what he did to me that day and everything he said to me, this is all that it’s going to be. All I did that day was defend my actions, which had nothing to do with him in the first place. I never did one thing wrong. He was just being immature and controlling, and went way beyond my tolerance level by stepping into territory that he had no reason to speak about. When I told him our reason for waiting until 12 weeks and that it was strictly between Matt and I and a choice we made, he proceeded to tell me off. Wonderful father I tell ya.
To come out and tell someone our project will fail is complete nonsense. If anything else it’s pure jealousy that maybe our plan will succeed. My ultimate plan in our project was that if it ever did succeed, nobody would ever have to worry again, but now that I know he feels this way about our project, why should I include him in my plan, even though dispite not talking I still wanted that. I have posed that to everyone in my family, because whoever helps us will get a share of it. I don’t have room for negativity being this was a dream a year ago and many many man hours of work later it’s almost ready to happen. It will take time, perhaps a lot of time, but like I said, it is a project. If it takes off fine, if not, that’s ok. Matt makes almost $100,000 a year as is, so it’s not like we are counting on this. We are doing this so that if it does go as we want it too, that we can share it with whoever and not have to worry about anyone ever having a job. It would have been nice for my dad since he refuses to get a job anyhow.
Paul and I can always get slammed and told what we are doing wrong and how much we don’t know anything, but it’s amazing that someone has such double standards and contradicts himself. For years I was told I didn’t go to college when I did… isn’t that one amazing? This man knew everything so much he knew I didn’t go to school, when I was. I bet he still thinks I don’t go to school, but I have transcripts to prove it, as I did then. I only took a class or two back in the day, but it was still something. He doesn’t want to believe I go to school because he doesn’t want anyone to top his one class of college that he had, and has bragged about taking all these years. The funny thing is he’d probably tell me I don’t know how to parent and that he has more parenting skills than I do. The simple point is, nothing Paul or I do is right, nothing will work out, and we will lead miserable lives.
He always insults Paul for wanting to be a police officer, and insults him by calling him stupid half the time, but where is his job? He hasn’t been employed in years. He insults the security guard profession, yet, at least it’s a job that he don’t have. Matt, and my friends have lost and found jobs, so has Paul… but for him, there are no jobs out there, even though the economy is a lot better. Yeah I guess there aren’t any jobs that don’t require work. Why get a job when someone will take care of you?
Oh, and I will never have “life” experience like he has. Even if i’m 50 and I talk to him then, he’ll still tell me I know nothing about life. Instead of having parents that are thankful we didn’t turn out like them, I have one parent that wants his kids to turn out worse then him it seems. I’ve been in trouble, i’ve stolen things in my life, and heck I even sat in a jail cell for a couple hours one day…. so to tell me I know nothing is wrong. I haven’t done anything wrong in at least 7 years, and just like for someone being sober that long, it is quite an accomplishment I am proud of. Despite what people think I am not the same person. Everyone would like to remember Jen the trouble making teenager, and stuff it in her face all the time because that’s what people like my father love doing, but it’s just not the case anymore. I live a normal life, and thankfully I am taken well care of my by husband. I have lost a lot of weight and am very happy. Although i’m sure you’d criticize me for my method too… but you know what? I don’t care. Whatever works. I suffered a lot in the last year and no matter what you tell me or how wrong I was, it just doesn’t matter.
The most important people I know, know I am telling the truth and that’s all that matters. As long as the people closest to me have faith in it, all will work out. I can’t let what some people say affect me. I think my dad can’t get a hold of the fact that his “kids” are grown up and adults and have their own lives. His negativity is the reason why I never speak to him about anything. I couldn’t ever imagine actually coming to him with an actual problem and getting supportive advice, it just wouldn’t happen.
Well it’s not like I don’t care about him anymore or anything, despite what he may think. It’s a one way relationship though. I still care enough to send something for Christmas, but if I didn’t send him anything, he would never just send me anything, it doesn’t work like that.
Ah well. Anyway – now that this is out of my system.
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My mother was nice enough today to buy me a nice deep fryer. It would normally be against my religion to own one because i’m everything anti-fried food… but our food situation is getting desperate. I can’t eat anything cooked at home, and it’s too costly to eat out everyday. Fried foods seem to be the best and easiest thing for me to eat, while still losing weight, so i’m going to give it a shot.
I haven’t spoken about my weight loss in a while so here goes… i’m almost out of the 200’s… I have 15lbs to go. It seems like it’s taking forever, but it will happen. I have a goal of summertime to be 175, and it will happen! I will kick-start my new diet tomorrow. In order for me to lose weight I have a method that I use that always works. I “diet” for 2 months, then I go off my diet for a month, then I go back on for 2 months. I do not gain weight back, and that’s the only reason I can do this. When you start a diet you lose a lot of weight in the beginning, then it slowly tapers off until you hit a pleateu. Once I hit that plateau, I go off the diet and normalize again for a month. That way, when I start up a
gain, I lose a lot weight in the beginning again. And I keep this pattern going. It seems to work well. I’m into a size 17 jeans which feels pretty darn good since a year and a few months ago I was a 26/28. It has been a tough road. I still vomit a few days per week because I test my limits or something gets stuck. It’s ok though, for the most part i’ve learned what I can and can’t eat.
It’s 2:15a.m. and i’m dealing with a bout of insomnia this week for some reason. I mainly sit up and watch the food network while working on our website. We already have a couple people interested in advertising, so we are happy about that. Oh, incase you read this Aunt Pat, thanks for signing up for an account!
I’ve created a new promotion that will start on the launch date, and I will advertise it on my members only sweepstakes website, and we’ll get a lot of traffic from that. The friendly folks there always go for free stuff and a chance to win stuff.
This week we will be working on adding a discussion forum – a bulletin board where members can communicate with each other. Our ultimate goal is do out-do craigslist.com. His website is horribly formatted, and ours is eye-pleasing so we’ll see. We definetly won’t fail though – sorry.
Ah well – I’m off to work on my site for a few, so I can make sure it won’t fail… just to prove someone wrong….again!